am i still bad with separation?
am i born to be a sticky spider web
and not be like water
which just flow off of things with no resistance?
and only leaving its trail, allowing others to know that
it was once here?


No matter whether im a spider web or water
the fact is that, the feelin in me is still there
the feeling that i thought i has surpress deep in my heart and mind.
the feeling that i thought i have already got over it..
but it seems as though i was wrong, again!!
the feeling can nvr be forgotten.
it played too big a part of me, for me to forget abt it!
how could i even think that it has not been a part of me now?
i was too ignorant. too naive,
my thoughts were to simple.
i belittled it...
i know it now!!!
i was wrong!!


i was been giving another chance, to relive the old days..
the days when stozer was made stozer..
the days when my chin was up high, and my chest was up!
the days when i had nothing but fun and more fun!
the days where sweat where given up, and sometimes even blood was oozed out
the days where laughter was so common tt many thought tt it was another
form of communication.
the days tt my teeth were always reflecting the sunlight against others
( as when i smile, my teeth are shown)


some of u might be thinking the wrong direction already..
i just got back from SSC selection camp and Health and Fitness camp
organised by our very own Kranji Sec 3 SSC!!!!!
although i wasnt very actively involved in all activities
but just observing how the sec 3 ssc does things,
and just lookin at them running around, joking, laughin, pratically just having fun
reminds me of how much fun my batch and i had.


the Perfect thing was that
this year's camp site was the same site as the camp
that my batch organised the selection camp 3 years ago!
with that, memories were gushing into my mind easier..
looking at each corner, i could remember what did we do
and it was as though at every corner something funny happen..
Nathan and i was sharing some of those funny things with
Yi han and Isabel and they asked
'' eeyeer why did they have so many things happen de?"
not to worries girls, ur SSC journey has only started..
you girls still have a long way to go, lots more fun waiting for u!

This camp, not only allowed me to remember my days as an SSC member
it also allowed me to catch up with Nathan, Miss Wong, Mr Yeo, Mr Seah, Mr Ong and Mr Kong.
although Mr Teo was there too, but he left on the 2nd day..
and the important thing was that, i was given a chance to get to know the sec 3
alittle better.
and i have to say, they are really bonded..!
much more bonded then my batch!
GOOD JOB GUYS!

however, said to say tt
while i was in that camp, my old weakness started to come back
i started to compare my life when i was in kranji and my current life.
i have to admit that i had MUCH more fun in kranji
did much more crazy stuff there
known more friends there.
but no matter how hard or how much i compare.
does it change the fact that i am already out of it?
i am still in the Kranji-Dreamy-Island.

To be frank, my yellow SSC shirt has been my wadrobe for
quite sometime, and i havent even wore it since last year's Mid autumn festival?
i mean you guys cant blame me, what other chance do i have to wear that?
Able to wear it again... MAN is that feeling just great!
haha!!

and i have to agree with Zilia~!!
'' I LOVE SSC!!''

i have to say a few words b4 i end this post..
For all the sec 2, congrats to all those tt got selected, welcome to the family
and for those who didnt get selected dont be sad.. its alright!!

Thank, Mr Yeo for allowing me to go back this year! THANKS ALOT!
Thank, Yi han for staying another night to have more fun, although u have tons of un-finished homework!! thank you!!
Thank, Isabel for Pang seh-ing me!!! thanks alot ya!
Thank, Danial chia for calling me emo!
Thanks the WHOLE sec 3 ssc for not outcasting me!!

you guys take care k!!
and do SSC proud!
stay happy!

P.S - haha Yihan so did u keep the 2 apple sticker?
hehe :P!!!!

I was just listening to the radio and the song
‘apologize’ by timberland came on air.
I began to really listen to the lyrics and feel the song,
and I release that for the past few weeks,
many things has happento my life.
Many things have ‘spiced’ it up.
things that I rather not happen.
and things that I would really wanna change the ending if
I was given another chances to do so.
there seems to be a lot of songs that can be used to describe my life now..
my feelings, my thoughts.. lol!!
sometimes I even think if the singers were singing about my life..

as I was saying, the song ‘apologize’
I have done something really ignorant that hurted someone.
someone that would be the last person that I would ever wanna hurtin my entire life.
Someone that I would never wanna even hurt
I am aware that apologizing wouldn’t make a difference.
As, just by saying the word‘sorry’ doesn’t make a difference.
Just by saying that word, doesn’t make time rewind.
(Oh how I wish it can, then I can change the outcome)
but I don’t know how or what else can I do to make u feel better
or is it just an excuse.
Do ppl say sorry to one another just to make themselves feel
better, but not for the victim?
I am lost,
what can I do to make ur trust be back to me?
what can I do to make u not to be this disappointed?
what can I do to make things improve between us?
what can I do to make you not feel so little abt me?

Im the best person in this whole white world to know that
this isn’t the best time to happen such a thing between us.
when there are competitors everywhere.
where they are most likely in the winning edge
where I am fighting helplessly with parangs and spears
when they are all armed with tanks and jets.

Its like the 1st series of the show SHERK.
the one who is able to rescues Fiona would be the one that she fall in loves and marries
if anyone of you becomes the Dragon.
Which knight will you be more afraid of.
someone with parangs and spears riding a donkey
or
someone with tanks and jets?

I have to admit, that I am just like SHERK
I may not be very dashing,
im not one that when walks
across the street, ppl would just daze at me with their mouth and eyeswide open.
I may not be as Cool as some ppl.a
nd when it comes to relationships.
Im like SHERK again.
I may not say everything with my mouth,
sometimes I also may not do thingsthat show u that I care and love you.
I might be stubborn at times..
but in my heart, I know that you are the one.
It may seems as though my mouth is hard but heart is SUPER soft.
May be its my bad for not
showing or expressing my feelings out. But……

This might sound rubbish to most of you guys
but STOZER is shy!!!
lol ( guys, stop ur ‘ yeah-right’ reaction)
its true, I don’t know how many of you believe it but yeah.
when u are with ur friends.
I don’t really feel comfortable approaching you.
Even if I did, I will act very odd wards.
May be its because I don’t know them well or some sort.

that night seeing you so high with ur friends
so excited to congrats your band friends…
I wanted to approach you,
even asked JL to get ready the camera
but something just struck my mind,
‘ will I be a turn off for her?’
will I be interrupting?
its like, suddenly I feel as though u are the COOL gang
and im just the average guy
( must be watch too much ang moh shows)

But, no worries.
I will over-come myself; the inner me
that is somehow causing trouble between us..
and I will do all I can to make things go better for us..

but will it be too late to really apologize to someone?

it really has been some time since i blogged!
haha
sorry guys, was kinda busy though!
but i must blog toay
as today is a very important day!!
no.... its not my birthday, NO i didnt win any prize
NO, i didnt win any tournament
No, i didnt go and eat buffet!

today is YEE GIN'S birthday!
yeah!! she turn 16 le!!
to many of u guys, u must be thinking..
sixteen only.... so?
but i dont care!
im just happy that she is a year older
im happy for her!!

man, i can tell u this
this girl , she is extremely popular among her friends
next time when u wanna celebrate with her for her birthday
my advise to u guys is to BOOK her months before her birthday
if not, u guys dont even think about spending her birthday with her!
haha!!
(Gin, you know that its true)

For those who didnt know that today its her birthday
Now u do, so NOTE it down now!!
next year must giver her a present.
For those who didnt manage to celebrate for her
you know the trick now!
haha !!
try it next year
believe me it will work
( that is if u guys can be faster than me next year,
as i learnt my lesson)

Hoped that she had a blast today..
i know she surely did, she always have great fun
when she is with her girlfriends
right?
i would also wanna thank, Gin's friend for
bringing so much laughter and joy to her!
THANKS YOU GUYS!!

and lastly
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIN!
1 hr 30 mins more to the end of the day
enjoy the last few moment of ur birthday
May u be happy always and be joyous each and everyday
May u be care-free and cheerful always!!

take care yeah!
stay happy and
stay beautiful
and u look GREAT today!