have i made the wrong decision?
was i too implusive while making that decision?
did i look at the big picture when i made that decision?
should i even be the one to make that decision?
what were my reasons for that decision?

i dont know why but im feeling weird..
feeling as though i made the wrong decision.
not in relationship of course ( that is going very well, so you know)
but in the choice of which school i should go.
i remember quarreling with my mom telling her that i wan to go NP instead of SP
but i dont know
after coming back from NP's Freshmen Orientation Camp ( FOC)
i am starting to regretting entering to NP?
why do i have such a feeling?
that i cant explain as me myself don't really know!

i am really starting to look at the bad side of NP and
thinking of the good side of SP
my mom and i even have the decision of transfering me to SP!
i really do have to choose the school that i like
as i have to be there for 3 whole years.
i loved kranji
thus the 4 years over there was a blast
and it went very fast!
i want my poly life to be as fun as what i had in kranji
or even better!

the camp that i went was how to say....
not as fun as i thought it will be
or shall i say not the camp that i usually go to
to me, if time were to go back
i dont think i will re-enter and register for that camp
dont get me wrong, im not saying that the camp is TOTALLY un-fun
its very fun to others but to me its just.... ya!
as most of the camp or in fact all the camps that i been ar
either OBS, leadership camps or course camps
and this time is just a orientation camp
lesure camp.
there were ALOT and i mean ALOT of cheers going on!
too much cheering for me!

is it due to me no enjoying the camp
that caused me to have a bad impression on NP?
i will be going for another NP camp tomorrow
and until now i cant make up my mind whether i should go or not!
will it be as fun as the other camps that i went b4
or will be as ( not my type of camp) just like FOC?

the Main and Sole purpose of me going to FOC camp was to make new friends
but that camp didnt give me the mood to
the camp was the first camp
that make me not talk much, not to be active in the games , no mood for me to be high!
i was totally a low profile nobody over there
i didnt even care how people look at me or how i look!
i didnt gel my hair and most of the time it was very messy!
for the whole camp
i only met 4 guy friends, no girl
4 friends in a 4D3N camp?

if so i might as well not go for that camp?
the aim for me going for tomorrow's camp is also to make friends
but if im also going to make such a small number of friends
I MIGHT AS WELL NOT GO?!!?!?!??!
am i right to say so?
hiax

NP has really changed my impression of the campus
and camps...

To alot of people, i may seem to be a
Happy-Go-Lucky kind of guy.
that always smiles and it seems as i though
i often look at everything positively
being optimistic..
i also thought the same way..
thinking that im a very open-minded and care-free kid!!

until someone send me a mail
that reads......
FW: Maybe the Nicest Email Ever....And a positive view of the world.‏
and this mail really changed the way i reflect about most of the things in life...
even the simpliest and the most in-significant matter in life...

today i would like to share it with you guys
it might also do the same thing to you like what it did to me....
some of you might have recieve it
and just browse through it.
why not trying thinking about how
you normally react to this kind of situation and how
the the mail reacted.....
here goes....

This colour would means the mail's reactions.
While this colour would means OUR normal reactions...

I AM THANKFUL....


For the wife,
who says its hotdogs tonight,
because she is home with me,
and not out with someone else.
Oh my, Hotdogs again?
Can't you cook something else
im seriously getting sick of it !!


For the husband,
who is on the sofa,
being a couch potato,
because he is home with me,
and not out at the bars.
Eh,come on and help out with something!
Dont just laze down there!!

For the Teenager,
who is complaining about doing the dishes,
because it means that she/he is at home,
not on the streets.
Quit nagging, this is your responsibilty!
One more nag from you and you have to cook for yourself
starting TOMORROW!

For the Taxes i pay,
because it means
that im employed.
$4000?? come on!
What is the government doing?
What do i get by paying them these amount?

For the mess to clean after a party,
because it means that i,
have been surrounded by friends.
Hiax, me again..
why cant my some of my friends help out?
and they call themselve friends.

For the clothes that fit a little to snug,
because it means that
i have enough to eat
Oh Gosh, why cant these clothes just grow!!
agrrrrr!!!!!

For the shadow that watches me work,
because it means
im out in the sunshine.
Can you just STOP it it?!?!?
stop following my actions!!

For the lawn that needs mowing,windows that need cleaning,gutters that need fixing,
because it means
that i have a home.
Man this is troublesome,
cant someone just do it for me?

For all the complaining i hear about the government,
because it means
we have freedom of speech
( ok this i dont think we have a reaction)

For the parking spot that i found at the very far end of the parking lot,
because it means
i am capable of walking
and im blessed with a transport.
Stupid fools, cant those guys in the mall
get their cars now and go home right away?

For the piles of laundry and ironing
because it means
i have clothes to wear
AGRRR, why does the family bath so many times?!!!

For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day
because it means
i have been capable of working hard.
( dont know about you guys, but that is my reaction)

For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours
beause it means
im alive!
So early?!!
5 more mins??

yeah thats about it....
so what did you guys reflect?
see the big difference?
we often say this..
" i cant seem to look at this in a positive way!"
but you are wrong...
nothing is impossible.

Life isnt as far and long as we think it is..
It isnt strong and firm either..
The most fragile thing that we guys have is Life..
and that is also the only thing we have...

different people have different ways of life
im just saying that, if you were to see things in a positive angle
it will certainly light up your mood and your day
slowly it will also change your way of life
your doings and of course your thinking..
by then, you will be a happier person
treating others in a way that you will never imagine that you will...

you may be the next
SunShine Boy/Girl. . . .

Open your heart and mind while you think and see things..
Dont let the devil in you to share his thinking with you
open the doors for the Angel. . .

as i told one of my friends
there is no such things as Life Sucks!
there is only 2 kind of life
FUN or VERY FUN!

Stop stepping on flowers,
bend down and smell it.
Stop throwing stones at dogs,
throw balls with them.
Stop laughing at your friends,
laugh with them.

Life can always be much better
ALWAYS!!!!

With this post. i would like to get enlightened..
by you guys.
Couples and Singles.
with this, im sure that you guys know what is this very post about.

i would like to ask you guys something that might be
obvious or simple to you guys .
i would like to know how to be a ...
Good stead?
well, saying it is easy
'' i want to, and will be a good stead to you!''
but how do we actually put that in action
how do we actually prove it?


Some may say,
buy things that your girl like for her.
others may say.
be there for her when she need you the most
support her, and have trust in her.
these are also the very things that i tell my friends
when they ask me things about stead.
but....
what if

i fall in love with a Strong girl
not physically strong, with bulky muscles sticking out of her body.
just imagine.
me holding hands with a muscle girl....
.... .... ..... ....
yeah you get what i mean.
ya a girl that
doesnt show her emotion to you.
even though you know that she is having trouble.
even thought you know that she needs help
and that whenever you ask her,
if she was ok?
if she want to talk to you about it?
if she needs your help?

she will always say
No need, she is fine, tell you next time..
sometimes or shall i say most of the time
i feel so helpless, useless
all i can do is just to stand there doing nothing...
hiax.
* sigh*

she is a great girl....
a unique girl
a girl that i truely love...
but sometimes she seems
emoitionally stronger than me...

i onces saw a show
and an actor said this
'' Love is like gardening, one party is the flower and the other is a gardener''
i wish to be the flower's gardener, but....
you can see the flower about to wilt and it needs water.
you ahve all the things you need, water hose, pipe, tap
everything
all you need is just to spray those water droplets on the flower
however, the flower is a... a... Rose
and its torns are surrounding it...
you can go anywhere near it...
hence all you can do
is just to stand there hopelessly
staring at the Rose, praying for it to get better
and if it wont, you cant do anything either...

i always say how much i love and care for you,
sometimes in those fancy and flashy words.
To you, these things comes naturally to me,
as though im saying just for the sake of saying.
But you are wrong. Really wrong.
these words are only said to you
no 3 person knows it or ever heard of it
but............ nevermind...

you always say that you know how much i love you.
But do you really know, in your heart you know the truth.
even i cant say how much i love you
as there is no word in the dictionary to be used to measure it
may be because my range of vocab isn't much
but, its just something that cant be said out
it must be FELT,
and have you feel it?
or have you not?

In life, i want alot alot alot of things.
i want to have alot alot of toys when i was young
i want to have alot alot of delicious food when i eat
i want to have alot alot of friends
i want to have alot alot of this and that
but no matter how alot alot i wan things
i only want ONE girl.
and that's enough
in this case it isn't
the more the merrier
but the quality that counts.........

Saying that you want to be a good stead is an easy thing
but doing it is another thing.
its one of the most difficult thing to fulfil in life.. believe me..
how many of you can be confident and step up now
and say that you are a good stead?
if you are, How good are you?
rating from 1 - 10, how many would you rate yourself?
and will that rating be lower or higher of what your partner will rate you?

Girls can be innocent and fragile
but they can also be Firm and Strong.
sometimes even stronger than we are.

How can I be a good stead?
How can I treat my girl better?
How do I know when does she needs me , when she always seems so strong and that she doesnt? How can i make her smile more?
How can I know when to give her more love and care, when she always seems that she have enough?
How can I be the little worm in her heart and mind, so that i can always know what she feels and think?
How can I make her feel comfortable and herself when she is with me?
How can I tell her that i need her when she has enough problem herself?
How?.... How?.. and only HOW???

Have you guys thought of this
May be it isnt the Girls that need us more.
is that WE, as guys need the girls more
just that we don't know that?

Who is the one that you will think of when you see a cute thing, a funny thing, a new thing.
who is the one that you wan to talk to when you are lonely, sad, happy, angry
Who??
you know it yourself....

Guys, if you think that you are a good stead...
think again....

I was working as a banquet waiter last night
and was serving in a dinner for Singapore Arm Force ( SAF)
as one of their general was retiring and they are giving him a
farewell dinner.

In this very dinner.
ALOT of speech were being said.
while these speech were being said out.
we, waiter couldn't do anything but just stand at a side and also listen to the speech
Most of the speech where about the times they spend together
the Thick and Thins that they have been through.
and to the end of the dinner a song was sang
'' peng you'' in english '' Friends''
while the mtv was being screened out
i thought of the word ''friend''
i gave it a little thought.
lol of course i wasnt thinking about that guy's friends
but MY friend.

whenever we talk about friends.
we normally will think them as people that we
pour our hearts to.
gone through thick and thins with.
fought together with
even
fought among with.
some may even think to an extent that
they can even die for their friends.
or in a chinese saying
'' they can climb a stairs made of sharp knifes or jump into a fire-ry sea''
but is that possible?
lol
they say say only mah ( man this sound SUPER singlish)
as talking is FREE!!!!!
haha!

to many of us, including me
the first few people that you would think of when
you are in a trouble, or when you have some things that you want people to hear out to
we would mostly think of your friends.
But why is it your friends?
why isn't ur family?
your siblings, your parents?
some of you guys would say
'' NO i did!''
but im speaking it as an overall.....
i thought through about this
and this was my conclusion.

Is it because we spend more time with our friends?
Is it because we feel that our friends understands us more than our parent?
then i have to ask this ques,
why does ur friends understand you mroe than your parents?
did you give ur parents a chance to walk into your heart
like what you gave to your friends.
You feel that your friends understands you more
as you guys think the same way?
you feel that your parents are old-fashion etc?
then why do you guys have the same thinking?
as you guys are about the same age. you guys have the same Naive thinking?
those foolish thoughts?
you guys think the same as you guys ASSUME that this is the right way to think and feel
as this age, as this era.
i know..
as i feel the same way too!
lol

However, have you guys ever thought through.
whenever you quarrel with your parents about the diff thinkings that you guys had
have it ever once that your parents were wrong?
ok, i don't know about you guys
but i usually quarrel with my mom about our diff thinking
and usually after that,
i cool myself down and think back about the fight
and i ALWAYS, relise that im at the wrong end
ALWAYS...

but although knowing that she is always right or often right
why do i still quarrel with her?
as im too stubborn?
or do i think that it feels good to talk to
people who have the same thinking ( friends)

how far can one go for his/her friend?