Hiax...
after 4 long days,
finally done my JAE application.
i shld be relifed and glad tt its over ryt?
i shld be glad tt now all i can do is just to wait
for the posting to be out ryt?
But, NO!
i feel very .. remoseful!
make is SUPER DUPER!

hiax.
due to my mom's diff expectation for me
my 1st choice for the poly course
( btw im gg poly)
it changed frm, chemical engineering to biomedical science to optometry to aeronautical
engineering and back to chemical engineering and then finally to....
chemical and biomolecular engineering

today i spend my WHOLE day..
and i realli mean the WHOLE day infront of the com
just to choose the course
in the morining, i discussed with my bro
and i got a list
( as we have to write down 12 courses)
and i thought, '' yes it was done''
but to think of it..
hmmm dun realli like the course

then at late afternoon
i settled ANOTHER list with my sis!!
hehe...
and guess wat?
at night
i did ONE MORE list with my dad!
and the finally one was wat i wanted...
and the thing tt is stoppin me frm gg to the web and apply
was my bro and my mom's approver!!
my bro was somehow ok with it ( surprisingly)
as he was kinda annoyed of me pestering him AGAIN!
as my mom went Singapore shopping
she came home kinda late
and i thought she was ok with my choice
but in the end NO!

we had an 2 hr 30 mins discussion of
whether to place
Chemical engineering SP ( mom's side)
or
Chemical and biomedical engineering ( my side)

my mom wanna me to do for SP
as the course there is more focused on just 1 factor
but mine is focused on 2 factors..
and after comparing, we both noe tt SP is teaching more things...
we keep discussing until, we almost started to quarrel..

my mom's reason for me to go SP
as its 50+ yrs old
the teacher are experiences
and the course is better
she is doin this for my own gd
but my reason for NP
is bcaz i get a lap top if i go there!
hiax, stupiding thinking...
she is helping me yet i.....
WAT WAS I THINKING....
haix...

in the end she gave in
and i was allowed to go NP
but, i feel so sad,.. so empty
SORRY MOM!!
its too late to change now
as i already sumitted the application...!!
im realli sorry!
whenever we quarrel, and i always talk back
but after the quarrel, one after another time
when i think back
she is always right, she always has her point
but i dun.....
then y do i always wanna start a fight
when i noe tt she is right, and tt she is doing it for my gd?
why im i like that?

what is done is done..
even if i want to go SP also no use le
wat can i do now?
i feel so ashamed of myself
the onli way tt i can do is to
REALLI work hard and be in the top 5% of the course
and get a scholarship and go to Uni!
I CAN DO IT !!
MOM ! THIS IS FOR U!!

there is such a song call
'' Sorry, seems to be the hardest word''
yes i agree...
hence im not gg to say sorry to her
im gg to express it out to her
and how do i do tt?
and tt is to make her proud
do extremely well in MY COURSE!!
for the past 10 years,
i have been studying for myself
but now, im not onli studying for myself
but my mom too!!!

mom i love u!
sorry for hurting u and
not listenin to u!
i might be a stone,
but my heart is a tofu
haha!!
MOM!!!!

i had alot of complains about my blog being too lag.
im realli sorry, its due to the massive amount of picstures
that i place in my blog.
sob, all i wanted to do its to share with u guys
the fun that i have with as many pics that i can
but didnt noe it actually back fired...
haha!!

ok. now let get back to the main aim of me posting this post
Well went back to kranji today.
with a few of my friends..
and all i can say its that kranji has changed..
not as in physically,
i mean, kranji's life, kranji's spirit!
it aint the same..
kranji is now so quiet and empty,
this isnt the kranji that i noe for 4 years.
i keep wondering, what can i do for kranji?
after all these years, Kranji has indeed did alot of things for me.
what can i do?!?!?!?!
the least i could do its to share my frisbee skills with current kranjians
and tt was wat i did...
i taught a group of sec ones how to play frisbee....
seeing a glimpse of Kranji spirit in them
haha!!

AND......AND......AND......AND...
today i met a SUPER DUPER cute gal..
sec 1 gal...
i know you guys must be thinking
come on stozer. a SEC ONE?!?!?
but she is realli cute.. haha!
such a chio bu..
and to be frank
this was part of the reason why i wanted to get back to kranji
beside the point of passing my books and notes to friends
and talking to teacher
the other reason is to see sec 1...hehe
eh, i noe almost all the boys have the same aim
haha!!

we would always joke among ourselves..
'' eh go back see chio bu la..''
haha... dun act, guys you know this is true
but i kept thinking abt this sentence while i was on my way home..
chio bu....
this is the 21th century.
and i thought tt both
Males and Females are equal
then why are we guys still treating gals like that..
like as though they are something for us to look at?
i mean... they arent born for us to look at ryt?
they arent a monkey in the zoo where we go visit and
take a look..?
how would WE BOYS feel if we were kept being look at?

we hardly even hear gals say this
'' eh wanna go back school to see guys?"
yes there might be.. but rarely...

you guys might think tt im a hypocrite
but this is how i feel.
gals are here to be loved and cared...
they arent like a ball tt we guys can pass around..
we guys always dare each other to get the cute gals number
and most of the time they would say NO
but have u realli thought of the reason why?..

Are gals something tt u can dare each other with?
So wat if u are realli daring and got her number..
what do u gain..
yes may be a friend
but did u gain her respect?

we are always tt daring to start a relationship
to get a gal
as we have nothing to lose!
but the gals
they have everything to lose..
they give everything out to u..
their whole heart, time, love
but ask back urself
have u, realli done all those whole heartedly?
without any dirty thoughts?
have u guys ever been into a relastion where
u guys have no physical contact?
NO holding hands. NO huggin. NO kiss. NO etc..
where u care 4 one another
and where by u have trust in ur love.
Love and relationship doesnt mean physical contact
this was wat i learn frm Mr Yeo Chun Hua!

take a deep breath and think..
this might be OLD Fashion or watever
but define Love to urself..
u cant lie to urself...
and think, in ur relationship with the other party
how different is it frm wat u defined?
think abt it...

this was wat i was enlightened today after gg back to kranji
thnks to the sec 1 gal.
u might think im fake..
but im just writting wat i think....!!!
now i get a deeper understanding of relationship!
ive realli thought too little n shallow in a relationship in the past..
things arent as wat they seem to be like..
u can see and learn different things frm the same object
with a different angle...
try to open ur scope of mind..
see things with a step backwards..
try to think of the reasons ..
i feel tt, tt is more impt
to find the reason then the solution...